What's the funniest thing you heard in a movie theater?

I almost giggled when the thunderous background music crashed down over some dramatic scene. The music was way too loud.

My cousin didn’t want to go, but he had a car and could drive us to the theater.

As the movie progressed, Ali’s character was diagnosed with cancer. It was sad; I understand that. But everyone in the packed theater— and I mean everyone—seemed to be crying. I was the only person sitting there like a rock, staring straight ahead.

How would you spank me if I had been sent home from a school camp because of my poor behavior?

My sister, a cousin, and I went to see “Love Story” in 1971 at a theater in Minneapolis. The movie starred Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal.

I noticed heads bobbing and turning to look at the cold-hearted 16-year-old girl who didn’t cry. I lowered myself in the seat and tried to squeeze out a tear, but I couldn’t manage it.

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Yeah, right!

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Finally, the music quieted down, and there was a 10-second lull. The only sounds I heard were people sniffing and sobbing around me. My sister was crying as well.

I was surprised that I wasn’t able to shed a tear. I am an emotional sort of person, but that movie just didn’t do it for me.

Someone in the audience (who wasn’t paying attention) asked where the movie took place. Being born in the Midwest, my cousin jokingly shouted, “Iowa!”

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She glanced over at my dry eyes and loudly asked, “Why aren’t you crying?” I looked at her in surprise wondering why I wasn’t crying.

That did it for me. I spat up my Coke and had to leave to clean up in the restroom.

The acting just wasn’t believable. Ali’s swearing seemed so rehearsed, and Ryan played the poor little rich boy who played hockey.

My wife has a bunch of really attractive friends, and she expects me to never say anything to her about how beautiful they are. Does this seem fair? I love my wife, and just commenting shouldn’t hurt anything, right?

Too many people heard her. Some guys behind us snickered at my sister’s remark.

Ali’s character called him "Preppy," if I remember right. He attended Harvard and she went to Radcliffe College.